Personal Blog 3: Men on the Metro – Chivalry might be completely dead

If you are lucky enough to live in a metropolitan city like Chicago, New York, Boston or Washington, DC your means of transportation is more then likely by train or metro, which most people would find great, the convenience of not having to find parking or pay for gas, to sit back and let the conductor take you to your destination. However there is a truth that most people would not want to admit openly but will complain about it to their friends and that is the reality that chivalry is completely dead.

If you are a woman looking to sit down on the metro after a long stressful day in your heels, don’t look to the opposite sex to give you a seat and rest those tired soles.  If you are pregnant, elderly or with young kids don’t expect to have someone tap you on the shoulders and say, “Would you like to sit down?” I know it is unfair of me to generalize many men as performing such selfish acts of non chivalrous behavior, but my observations while living in three of these major cities (and currently DC) has led me to notice that the courtesy of giving up a seat for someone who looks like they could use the rest a bit more – is an act that has long past. It is as if people have become desensitized to giving up a seat to a more deserving passenger.

Just recently I was sitting in one of the row seats on the orange line metro heading in the direction of Vienna during heavy rush hour. I was lucky enough to get a seat, which I had scrambled for to rest my tired soles after a long day of work and heading to a long evening of class, but after two or three stops a young obviously pregnant woman hopped on the train and without even a hopeful look for a seat, grabbed the pole, eased her way around and held on to await her destination. Without hesitation (I mean her stomach was looking at me) I tapped her on the shoulders and asked her if she would like to sit down. “That’s so nice of you, “she responded with her lightly touched southern accent “no one has ever offered.” I couldn’t believe she just said that; no one has ever offered? I was shockingly outraged. The idea that absolutely no one has ever offered up his or her seat that just didn’t make any sense. She was so grateful to me and so where her parents (come to find out the older couple standing with her belonged to her) when she got off she and her parents thanked me again. I looked around and I could tell people were embarrassed and continued to do what they always do when they see someone they know deserves that seat more then they do – they pretended to be asleep or too oblivious to know what was going on (the old oblivious trick).

Why are people so desensitized to common courtesy or chivalry? What has happened to make a lot of men (and women but honestly men should take the lead on this one) in general uninterested in giving up their seat to someone who needs it more then themselves?

Weekly Blog 6: MMO’s

Second Life offers an amazing escapism life via the virtual world that allows you to be someone else, meet new people and actually interact with them via your virtual avatar. I am not completely shocked by its cosmic success thinking back on my childhood I much enjoyed the game “Sim City” and the virtual world it provided. Though I do think second life is a fun and exciting way to pass sometime and life out your wildest socialite lifestyle for a while I am concerned by the growing audience that is taking virtual reality and yearning to replace it with their own actual reality.

Just three months ago the anticipated flick avatar premiered in the theater braking box office records and giving us, the audience a chance to enter a magical world and spend three hours in Pandora (the world created by James Cameron) via 3-D classes.  This world offered viewers a chance to experience a world of perfection but instead as reported last January by CNN Avatar Audiences experience ‘Avatar blues’ a feeling of depression and suicidal thought after viewing the flick. This unhealthy and obsessive feeling towards a fictitious world is the reason virtual reality games might be too dangerous for people to handle. In 2005 a gamer died in North Korea from game playing addiction.

Massive Multiplayer Online games (MMOG’s) cannot be overlooked (and that comment is directed towards those who do not consider themselves gamers and are wondering what the commotion is all about) by the non-gaming community, we currently don’t know how as a business we will be able to utilize the arena but we have to understand that there is a real community of people living in this virtual reality. Whether we like it or not we have to accept it.

Weekly Blog 5: Should we be afraid of Google?

I am sure many people think that we should be afraid of google they are even prepared to support some of google’s completion but honestly can we be afraid on a search engine that has revolutionized our world and our lives?  – I don’t think so.

 I understand the scary part is that we easily confess things to google that we probably would not want to tell a soul but the truth is search engines are an integral part of our lives. there is a whole generation growing up within the search engine era and will never know a world without it. The point it is not going away.

 We need to trust google. There company philosophy is “Don’t no evil” and since we will continue to reveal who we really are the questions that plague us most to google it is a bit of a comfort to know that they uphold efforts to not use our information to do evil.

 Competition for google is becoming more pertinent and this means people will soon be turning to other search engines to retrieve information, and because of that we will need to begin to doing our homework and read the fine print to see how our searches, IP address and information will be handled.

 I do not work for google in case this sounds like some sort of google praise – that could be a new google application but I know it is a product that we all have come to rely on when in need of a quick search and answers to questions.

 Can you really not trust someone who tells you “what it is” all the time?

Personal Blog 2: From Boyfriend/Girlfriend to Partner: When the Title Needs a Shift

Titles mean everything. No surprise they always have. We as a people put a lot of emphasis on titles because we feel they define who we are. It makes sense why many of us strive for them at our jobs (coordinator to assistant manager), in our friendships (friend to top best-friend like a sister), and of course in our relationships(girlfriend/ boyfriend to…wife/husband). Today’s coupledom-relationships intrigue me mostly because they are so…today. I can’t speak to the numbers on this, but many people I know are dating for a longer period of time before getting married and there is an understanding that they plan to get married but have not because of factors such as, graduate school (and the impending loans), money, the fear of getting comfortable with current life, a baby and last but not least, why rush?

The title “boyfriend or girlfriend” after an understanding that the relationship is heading towards marriage (down the line), does seem a bit weak in its description for such a deep level of verbal commitment, that it seems the title is no longer appropriate for long-term relationships. But can you call your boyfriend your husband or your girlfriend your wife in social circles? “I guess it depends on who you are talking to,” says Shinett Boggan a 26-year-old dc transplant, “If it’s your co-workers or a stranger it might be easier to just say fiancé.”

Many people in this type of relationship are close to their boyfriend or girlfriend’s family that they have already welcomed their child’s significant other as part of the family  “I do believe there needs to be a stronger word for couples when you’ve been with someone for a long time and you know you are going to get married to them when the right time comes” Caro Bonilla a 23-year-old grad student adds. What about just calling your significant other your fiancé(e)?”  It seems like a good idea in theory but then there is the awkward glance at your left finger (for women anyway) searching for the proof that you truly are a fiancé(e).

 The in between title is a very important topic and deserve some recognition and a to be identified by this new title. I do believe that title is “Partner” when you introduce your significant other how about just saying, “This is my partner” or “I’d like you to meet my partner.” Many people have already started to do especially in Hollywood, by calling their significant other “my life partner” – this is great! However it is not a title that is integrated to an average couple because here on planet “everyday norm,” people just don’t get it or choose to not accept it. It always goes back to the same line of question, “then why don’t you just get married?”

 Even without the understanding of the many nuance of why people choose to work on their relationship in what seems like purgatory to marriage, a stronger title should emerge and be given recognition. For now I think “My Partner” should do.

Personal Blog 1: Habit or Personal Choice?

This month marks another season of Lent and that means a time of sacrifice or suffering weather from food, or things we love to do or shows we love to watch, whatever it is, we are to give something up. Many of my friends take this opportunity to participate in the process and good number of them are not even religious but believe in this period and the idea of taking 40 days to prove self-discipline.

The point of my opening is to address a conversation I had with a good friend of mine who smokes. He called me for my birthday a few weeks back and some how our conversation steered toward his ideas of celebration and fun activity. I told him mine never includes smoking of any kind and that if he does not stop his indulgence of smoke and liquid courage he will become an addict and will always need those items just to function socially. Needless to say he laughed at my assumption that recreational party fixtures would become everyday dependents.  Instead he countered and informed me that there was no such think as an addiction or a habit.

My response was “excuse me” (that reaction was not because I didn’t have my own personal theory about the topic but because he had one of his own)? He continued by saying, “there is no such thing as an addiction, people control what it is they want to do and when they don’t want to stop they call it an addiction. We continued our conversation further and I challenged him to give up smoking for Lent. I told him he could not do it on the weekends, recreationally or for any other reason that he chooses to smoke, he quickly replied, “sure I can do that.” It has been almost two weeks and he has not smoked, but there are 40 days in this lent season and I plan to keep you posted on whether my friend has a smoking habit or it’s his recreational choice.

Weekly Blog 4: Niche Markets Run the Show

Niche Markets Run the Show

I love the reality that the Internet has shifted the weight of the 80/20 rule into the hands of the consumer and I say into the hands of the consumer because it is now our choice to get the kinds of entertainment that most interests us. This topic that I am talking about stems from my reading of “The Long Tail: Why The Future of Business is Selling Less of More” by Chris Anderson. The concept that we are accessible to niche products that interest us most because of the Amazons and iTunes and Netflix reveals who we really are and where our core interest lies. It makes me wonder if a phenomenon like Chick-lit would have ever been a phenomenon at all if it didn’t have this platform to grow and attract a following? I doubt it.

The film industry is having the same situation. By now everyone has heard of Tyler Perry, he is probably one of the most successful straight to video maven’s of our generation and this is without the backing or support of Hollywood he has successfully done this proving that niche markets showcase what people really want to watch. Hollywood believes you need to have certain elements in order to be a successful movie but these independent filmmakers are proving they can build a core audience without the help of the industry powerhouses.

It is a powerful position to be in to know that our own personal interests can become niche markets that people enjoy and contribute too. This era of social media boom – our own “Technological enlightenment,” belongs to no one – so anyone can prove to be an expert in this realm. It’s a wonderful feeling to know Niche markets are running the show and anyone can have a part in how it plays out.

Weekly Blog 3: Do we need a Bill of Rights for the Social Web?

Do we need a Bill of Rights to regulate how we navigate through the social web?

The answer unequivocally should be yes. Yes because with every passing year people continue to loose the most precious democratic offering – privacy. Without our permission our privacy has been withering for a very long time. Camera’s located in train stations, buildings and street corners can track our every move and even piece together a story of how we go about our day.  As of last year T-Mobile has come out with a device called Glympse, this new application allows people to track every move another person is making, for instance a parent to a child (if you choose to allow them to have a smart phone). Though this may seem like a good way of keeping track of where your child is going and what they are doing to some extent is this not information overload? For a child yes it seems like a great idea but what about a spouse? There goes shopping for secret surprise gifts.

It is our personal choice to sign up for these social web sites and join these social web communities, however when a facebook first started among the college student crowd it was really a fun way of playing 6 degrees of separation among a community. Today this is an entirely different story, there really isn’t a choice about having an online presence – you must have an online presence just to be considered an active citizen these days, in order to position yourself in today’s job market and to have this “personal brand” in order to position yourself. Face it, if you don’t have a linkedin account, and a facebook page you are pretty much going to continue to fall behind in this growing globally knit world and that can do more damage to your career then holding on to your precious privacy rights.

So my argument to an extent is that since many people really have no choice in being so connected and having an online presence, privacy rights should be in place to protect the users. I do not believe that the user should have all of the rights we are still in the domain of the creator, but people do deserve to have ownership of their own personal information. That alone is a good place to start.